healing, love, post a day, prose, self-reflection, tarot, transformation, Uncategorized, writing

Allowing Myself the Space

Today’s draw is the Queen of Wands from The Fountain Tarot by Jonathan Saiz, Jason Gruhl, and Andi Todaro.

As I sit in meditation with this lovely ray of sunshine– I am drawn to my center. I feel the hum and glow of my third chakra– and feel the warmth of it moving into my heart. There is a peace and calm emanating. In connecting with the image of this Queen– I feel an openness and confidence– a unique and grounded forward trajectory. Awakening today, I continue to move into my newness. More of me is present. I feel as if I’ve been cocooned for the last several months– and finally I’ve stepped out into the light, ALL of me– for the first time in a LONG time.

Several days ago I went through a bunch of old photo albums that my mom was letting go of. I removed from them a treasure trove of pictures, mostly of little me, that I wanted to keep and brought them home. The little being I feel most drawn to is my two year old self. She is wildly fierce and unapologetic. She shines brilliantly and confidently. As I reconnect to her I allow her to awaken– and am certain that she a is a large part of the newness in me.

I created an altar of sorts for her on our refrigerator with magnets and magnetic poetry haikus. There is a deep process of reincorporation that is occurring for me, an engagement into a rooted and cellular trust. As I reincorporate my sunny, carefree, baby girl I understand on a cellular level that it is safe to fully express myself. It is challenging to find the words to convey this transformation that is actively occurring– but I will endeavor to continue doing so. I am grateful I’m allowing myself the space to try.

 

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