This card feels like an affirmation of the work I’m doing and the forward trajectory of my path. Though at the moment I feel a bit stuck in the mud and muck– this card assures me that I am on my way. It reminds me to sit with the spaces inside me that feel a little stuck. It assures me that my attention and focus turned toward myself are my most valuable tools.
Taking a moment with this card after drawing it I feel certain it represents my mother, feeling an immediate pull into my heart. She is in the forefront of my mind of late as she continues to lighten her load and mine along with it. There is a protectiveness that this lovely swan offers– almost to the point of self-sacrifice. There is a loving, nurturing empathy offered without expectation. This is truly the embodiment of my mother.
As I continue to witness her process I also continue to feel its affects in my own life. It becomes easier for me to trust myself and my surrounding community. This card encourages me to continue to trust myself and my intuition, allowing connection with the world that I am surrounded by without fear or reticence. I am grateful for my mother’s steadfast example of the embodiment of unconditional love.
This is another brilliant new deck that just arrived at my door yesterday– the Unicorn is my first pull from it. Each day for me at the moment is a practice in trust and allowance. Though there was no specific question I asked as I shuffled the deck and drew this brilliant creature from it– what tends to be at the forefront of my mind these days is my new path forward. I am acknowledging a shift in consciousness, an enlivening and awakening of my truest self. I am doing the best I can to get out of my own way and open myself up to a larger context. I am asking the thoughts and inner-narrative that drive my worries and fears to take a back seat so that a larger perspective can be gleaned.
As I connect to the unicorn in meditation I am drawn to my third eye, my intuition and knowing. It leads me forward down an endless, spiraling cosmic tunnel and asks me to follow without question. This spiraling meditation of uncertain certainty is one that I will continue to engage with. The unicorn asks me give myself the trust that others bestow upon me. She asks me to BELIEVE in what I see when my eyes are closed. And KNOW what is beyond my ability to reason or articulate. She encourages me to allow my visions to unfold– to acknowledge their power and give them life beyond the confines of my mind. She asks me to acknowledge my limits are defined only by myself. She encourages me to continue to see far BEYOND reason.
The Scorpio full moon had a large effect on all aspects of my family. Drawing the son of cups this morning I sat with it and immediately felt an opening in my heart and throat chakras. The question in the back of my mind since I awoke this morning was “how do I keep my mind from worry?” I felt quickly that the son of cups represented my husband.
We have been married for a little over a month now. As each day passes a deeper shedding and opening occurs. The solidifying of our union allows both of us an access to more power. We have closed other doors, and opened this one WIDE. Our energies are more focused and deliberate. We are allowing ourselves to love one another and occupy our love fully.
I drew a second card for further guidance on the first. These two cards create a harmony, representing the symmetry of our partnership. The son of cups has an energetic drawing up, while temperance is grounding. There is a romantic and idealistic sense that the watery, emotional son of cups exudes that temperance gently balances, with the union of fire and water. These cards feel to me like a reminder to utilize the power and energy our sacrament offers us.
Our whole is far greater than the sum of its parts.
This brilliant image hits me like a ton of bricks and asks me to get real with myself as I move forward and into the light.
The devil is a card of warning. It is associated with negativity or addiction. As I unmask myself and begin to really step into my true purpose in the world, I can no longer hide behind anything. I have struggled my entire life with a sugar addiction. That may sound insignificant– but I assure you it is NOT.
For the last several weeks I have been addressing this addiction, eliminating all refined sugar from my diet. This card asks me to STEP IT UP. My physical body needs to be completely free of the drug that it craves in order for me to move forward into all that I deserve to inhabit.
For years I have comforted myself by eating sugar. I have allowed sugar to fill the parts of me that feel empty, instead of connecting to what lies underneath the emptiness. I have fed my sugar monster to silence it– but have only made it stronger. I deserve to truly be nourished. I deserve to be free from the pull of this addiction.
I deserve to be motivated by my own sense of well being and power. I’m grateful to this brilliant, devilish goat for calling me out and asking me to truly STEP UP and into my full power– free from the sugar craving monster who resides within me.
Today is day 1: NO SUGAR OF ANY KIND. (that means fruit, dammit– my most favorite treat at the moment). I’ve got this.
I’ve fallen out of my writing practice in the last week– allowing doubt and fear to get the better of me. Today, on this first day following the Scorpio full moon, I renew my commitment to myself and this process of accountability and acknowledgement. I began today with a 13 card spread for the coming year from this deck that is brand new to me, The Wild Unknown. It feels like my deck. Interacting with it feels like coming home.
The seven of wands was the first card I turned over in the 13 card spread, the one that applies for the month ahead. I began sobbing as soon as i connected to it.
The root of my emotion feels connected to my mother and the shedding process she is currently undergoing, which runs parallel to my own. The work that she is doing is clearly work for our lineage. As she releases her burdens she allows my daughter and I to release them as well. She frees us from ever having to carry them.
Yesterday on the full moon in Scorpio she turned 73. The day before she held a yard sale at my house and let go of a massive amount of weight that she had been carrying for years upon years upon years. My mother is a collector. She has always been a collector (at least for the 41 years that I have known her). When I was a child she never made me get rid of anything. There was an attachment to objects that was allowed and even encouraged. I carted around ridiculous pieces of my childhood with me from one coast to another– finally beginning to unravel that process seven years ago when I separated from my first husband.
The single flame on the seven of wands represents our own inner fire. It symbolizes the importance of self-reliance and the falling away of all other things or people. As my mother sheds her past and unburdens herself of all that she has carried for herself and for others throughout her lifetime– I too feel a weight lifting. Her lightening load is mine as well. She gives me courage to move forward through my doubt and fear, guided by my own inner light. I allow that light to shine on my terror. I acknowledge the perfection of my fear and allow my inner light to guide the way. I am grateful for the powerful example my mother is setting. As she steps out on her own brightly lit path without the security of her things, so too do I.
This card fortells of a journey– setting out to shores unknown, a new beginning. This is precisely where I find myself, letting go of the comforting and familiar to set forth into a new paradigm. Drawing it in reverse clearly illustrates my trepidation about this journey.
In describing the reversed status of this card, fountain tarot speaks of a stubborn self-reliance and relying on old patterns of behavior that prevent progress. Yes, Yes, and Y-E-S.
Jumping off of a precipice into unknown waters is SCARY. I am human and not immune to fear. As I do my best to TRUST my process and myself within it, I also acknowledge that I AM MY LARGEST OBSTACLE– and that it’s okay (and absolutely perfect) to be afraid.
I am doing my best to acknowledge my own self-sabotage and recognize old patterns that are no longer serving me. I TRUST myself and my path as it unfolds in front of me. I am ready for this NEW BEGINNING.