This card fortells of a journey– setting out to shores unknown, a new beginning. This is precisely where I find myself, letting go of the comforting and familiar to set forth into a new paradigm. Drawing it in reverse clearly illustrates my trepidation about this journey.
In describing the reversed status of this card, fountain tarot speaks of a stubborn self-reliance and relying on old patterns of behavior that prevent progress. Yes, Yes, and Y-E-S.
Jumping off of a precipice into unknown waters is SCARY. I am human and not immune to fear. As I do my best to TRUST my process and myself within it, I also acknowledge that I AM MY LARGEST OBSTACLE– and that it’s okay (and absolutely perfect) to be afraid.
I am doing my best to acknowledge my own self-sabotage and recognize old patterns that are no longer serving me. I TRUST myself and my path as it unfolds in front of me. I am ready for this NEW BEGINNING.
The simple beauty of this card, having moved through my own personal turmoil yesterday is absolutely perfect. The last week or so of my life I’ve moved slightly south of sacred, engaging in old patterns and habits that don’t serve my highest good. I’ve allowed myself to indulge myself in old routines relating to comfort and safety– mostly with my eating habits. I’ve been gentle with myself in this engagement however, acknowledging the massive transition through which I’ve just moved. Occasionally we all need to plunge into the deep waters of old, familiar patterns in order to remind ourselves why we’ve made the conscious choices we have.
I’m just poking my head above the surface of those waters today– and it feels amazing to honor my conscious choices once again– and move away from the old, rutted patterns. If we allow ourselves to honor the sacredness in everything, we give width and breadth to all that surrounds us. I had the most incredible energy session today with a dear client and friend. I have watched her move through so much in such a short period of time. I have seen her claim herself and honor her process in the most sacred, beautiful ways. This card, and the simple beauty of the wings on it reflects the sacredness of her journey. It reflects the sacredness of ALL of our journeys. I am immensely grateful for the honor of bearing witness to so many people’s sacred space.
I honor the sacredness of my body, this amazing vessel that has managed (despite my best efforts to thwart it at every turn) to persevere and grow stronger. I honor the sacredness of my space as my extended container and protector. I honor the sacredness of my children who are (despite the fact that they are children) phenomenal human beings who I am grateful to know. I honor the sacredness of my business as it offers sanctuary and solitude to those who honor its sacredness. I honor the sacredness of my partnership– as it is larger and more powerful than I could possibly be on my own.
For everything sacred, which is everything, I am grateful.
This brilliant lion greeted me for my draw bright and early this morning. As I was falling asleep last night I had the sense that today I would be drawing from this deck. Yesterday I had a session with my healer. Towards the end of my session he acknowledged all of my guides commenting “it’s like a zoo in here.” I had to smile in agreement. My connection with nature is resonant– and nature has been showing up in full force as of late to let me know its got my back.
I have always loved cats. As I began writing this my sweet girl kitty came up and sat down right next to me. A couple of years ago I did a guided journey with my healer and Tiger showed up to be with me and walk alongside me through the journey, at times taking me on her back. She presented herself to me as a powerful ally and thus began what could be called my tiger obsession.
It’s not hard to contextualize what I’m talking about when I refer to my tiger obsession if you’ve walked into my home. From the place where I’m sitting right now in my living room I can see six different tigers without moving a muscle, and I happen to know additionally there’s a tiger as well as a lion on the pillow that the small of my back is resting on. So… yeah, I’ve got a thing for big cats. Jaguars, leopards, and this beautiful powerful sunlit lion whose image sits before me.
Lions symbolize strength, power and courage. They are often associated with the sun. I love the gentle ease of this powerful protector. The presence of lion in my draw today is comforting. He helps keep me feeling grounded and taken care of. My lessons of late are very much centered around claiming and owning my power. Each step I take towards owning that in every situation I have a choice to make, helps me step more solidly into my power. Lion’s presence affirms those clear and conscious forward steps into ownership of my POWERFUL SELF.
There are weird blocks in the roadway this morning. I just had three attempts at adding this picture and caption only to have it subsequently deleted. I felt my frustration mounting as I moved through these attempts and then I took a breath and had a little giggle realizing it was all part of the reversed eight of cups process. The eight of cups reversed speaks to my sense of overwhelm, which is fairly all consuming at the moment.
It’s a bit laughable that at this time in my life when I’m preparing to get married, and hosting as DIY a wedding as you can get that I make the decision to start two new blogs and hold myself accountable for writing a post a day in each of them. It’s absolutely perfect and speaks to who I am. It’s nice to acknowledge it though. I am OVERWHELMED.
This poor sweet purple octopus is busting out all the stops– has pulled out all of her finery, the very best cups. But she is stuck in presenting her finery, unable to move in any direction, because all of her hands are full. And from my reversed perspective, her cups must also all be empty, because they are all upside down. I can’t help but immediately connect to her two little eyes in the center of the picture that look completely bewildered.
I know the feeling. This card reminds me from the outside perspective that I’ve GOT A LOT GOING ON RIGHT NOW. It’s a useful image for me in that it speaks to the importance of delegation. I don’t know about the octopus– but I do know that I have an extensive support system and this card is reminding me of that. I am not this isolated octopus. It’s time for me to tap into my community and ASK FOR HELP. Because I’m not going to stop writing my two blog posts a day– and come hell or high water I am getting married 12 days from today.
There’s nothing like a deck of tarot cards to tell it like it is. The shells continue to hit me with their watery magic– and the reversed draw keeps me honest and pokes at what’s underneath the surface. What strikes me first about this card is how perfectly arranged the shells are in front of the penguin and how proud he is of this arrangement. Just like yesterday’s draw, there is an openness and oneness with the world around him– I am struck by the stardust, just as I was in the image yesterday. This card asks me to take a few steps back, gain a little persective. It says, YES, but…
Yes, I am establishing new habits. Yes, I am holding myself accountable. Yes, I am doing a good job. HOWEVER– to what end? There is a smugness and arrogance in the penguin– which is exactly what a reversed nine of shells (cups) connotes. This card reminds me to stay true to my internal motivations, and to stop getting distracted and wrapped up in EXTERNAL VALIDATION. This is the struggle of my insecure little girl, always seeking that approval from whomever is willing to offer it to her.
It reminds me of the perfect interaction I had with my partner a few days ago– after I published my first post on 18 days and counting. He came home from work and walked into the kitchen as I was cooking dinner. I excitedly said, “I’ve already got 150 views on my first post of the new blog!” He hugged me and said calmly, “baby, how many views you have doesn’t matter, it’s the fact that you published it… AND– that’s AWESOME that you have that many views already.” He re-framed it for me perfectly. And he’s absolutely right, just like this sweet, smug reversed little penguin. I must keep myself in check and remember that although I’m doing a good job– I’m just at the VERY beginning of these new practices. There is SO MUCH TIME that I have to continue putting in consistently not for the feedback I receive from others, but for the growth that I’m allowing myself.
There’s also a beautiful symbolism in the penguin– who flies in the water as opposed to the air. The water, that is so consistently calling me to connect with it, invites me in with the penguin, but acknowledges my fear with the reversed draw. The penguin also is a symbol of balance, being a creature who lives in both Arctic as well as hot climates. That duality is also expressed in the diametric opposition of black and white on its body. It symbolizes the ability to handle and hold space for duality to exist, holding the balance and equilibrium between giving and receiving which is such a present part of my journey. Both penguin and reversed nine of shells also give the message to connect to family– which is beyond appropriate at this juncture for me.
This draw is humbling. I’m reminding myself WHY I’m engaging in this practice and how it is truly benefiting me. (And it has nothing to do with my number of views). I’m engaging in this consistent practice of meditating, writing and publishing because I am a healer and writer, and it is my work. Just like any other discipline, the most important part of it is TIME IN. All the other stuff that comes along with it is just icing on the cake.
I woke up this morning to the sounds of birds in the tree outside my window. “Those are springtime birds,” said the voice in my head. The world feels alive and radiant this morning– and this card reflects that radiance perfectly. As I sat in meditation with this card I heard a chicken in my backyard laying an egg. Life springs forth all around me– and I feel I am no exception– I am bursting forth with LIFE!!!
The image on this card feels three dimensional– her joyful leap propelling her off the card and into unknown adventures. She is flanked by a unicorn and three cranes– all emanating youthful exuberance. Behind her is a cave, flowers by the unobscured entrance– making it feel to me like an opportunity, a portal to wherever she chooses to bound towards. She’s also making noise with every move she makes, bangles on both her wrists and ankles. She is unapologetic and truly allowing her path to unfold joyfully before her.
I rejoice in this card and am honored to have drawn it. Each new day I am leaping forward into life which I am continuously creating.
When I was called to draw from the motherpeace deck this morning I prepared myself for a raw and real draw– as motherpeace is good at providing. I’ve drawn from Spiritsong for the last several days and it has a gentle, loving hand even when the cards are reversed. Motherpeace tells it like it is. I was happy to see my old friend the six of wands. She affirms the massive shift in my habits and patterns over the last several weeks, and the last week in particular.
For YEARS I have had the continuous pressing message from the universe to WRITE. I’ve had flirtations with it– and at times the best of intentions. But for the most part I have kept a lid on my words, never giving them shape or form, keeping them silent but persistent– a constant banging in my brain. For the last week I have written and published every single day. I realize a week of writing is not a monumental achievement– but it feels important to acknowledge the small steps. I am creating the practice. And as that practice solidifies, my words take on a life of their own and let me know where they need to go.
These daily draws are difficult for me in the fact that they are far from masterful pieces of writing. However, I recognize that their purpose is not to be masterful. Their purpose is to affirm a practice of meditation, writing and publishing. And they are doing exactly that. They are helping to move me forward in the direction I’ve been wanting to go. They make me feel like I deserve to call myself a writer– because I am active in my practice– and I am exposing my raw, un-masterful underbelly.
The six of wands tells me to keep going. She represents success and affirmation from my community. She is exposing herself to the world, laying herself bare, taking her place in the ring of fire. And it is from her vulnerability that she derives her POWER. I feel a massive shift in my momentum, a turn of the tides where I’m no longer pushing up against my own resistance. I have turned my back to my perceived struggle and am allowing all of the energy I expended upon it to buoy me forward. I am exactly where I need to be.
When I connect to this card, the words that come to my brain immediately are persistence and allowing. I easily settle into a hypnotic rhythm that feels like waves moving through me. I imagine allowing the currents to move within me and around me– becoming one with the ebb and flow.
There is a driving force in me that has been there as long as my conscious memory has, that tells me to put my head down and work as hard as I possibly can to move forward, and it is slowly beginning to shift. I am attempting to unfold my fingers from the death-like grip they’ve had on this idea for my lifetime. I carry it from my father, who carried it from his. And I’m sure it goes back generation upon generation. The idea of “hard work” being the only way to achieve… The narrow concept of what hard work actually is…
This Seahorse, this King of Shells affirms for me that it’s okay to to ride the current. Allowing is its own hard work. Trusting that my intuition brings me concrete and tangible value is the hardest work I’ve ever done. But it gets easier each day. I realize that I use my energy much more efficiently when I’m not fighting the tide but moving with it, and allowing it to move me forward.
“I am one with the force and the force is with me.” –Chirrut Imwe, Star Wars: Rogue One
Today’s draw comes from the Motherpeace tarot deck by Karen Vogel and Vicki Nobel.
I’m no tarot wizard, but I can gather information from the internet. This card classically refers to success, and having enough energy and resources to share beyond yourself.
When I sit with this card I am struck by the flow of giving and receiving. There is joy in both. There is an equilibrium between the two. There is a stability and groundedness in this equal exchange. Receiving has been a challenge for me for most of my adult life. My natural tendency as a healer has been to take care of others and give and give and give. I used to feel guilt or shame attached to the idea of receiving or reciprocation– to a point where I gave to others far beyond my resources– depleting myself to fill someone or something else.
The last several years of my life I’ve been asked to take a long, hard look at this pattern and its effect on myself and the things closest to me: my family and my business. I’ve had some big, hard lessons around prioritizing myself over others. What I have come to understand is that I can’t possibly give without first being full. As I truly begin to embody this concept and understand that I AM MY GREATEST RESOURCE, I watch this brilliant equilibrium unfold.
The community that has grown up around me from my original intention of serving and offering others a place of sacred safety– has taken on a life of its own. As I have honored my own needs for support and guidance, and put those needs ahead of everything else, my business’s ability to offer that to others has broadened. The foundation is immeasurably deep and wide. I feel blessed to go to work each day surrounded by practitioners and clients who are able to understand the importance of nurturing themselves. This card is a beautiful affirmation of the community I was not capable of imagining at its inception. It is far beyond myself and I feel blessed to hold and be held by it.