Fox is said to come to you during times of change, which is certainly appropriate for the massive life event that is coming just four days from now. (my wedding). Again, just as in yesterday’s draw there is a full moon illuminating the fox and a supernatural feel to the painting. Fox is said to be a mediator between the human and spirit worlds. I spent last night, as well as many other nights in the last couple of weeks straddling the human and spirit worlds in my dreams, waking with visions that only my dreaming mind can make sense of.
The massiveness of this transition I am moving through feels like it is being accompanied by a spiritual acknowledgement and awakening as well. As we allow our partnership to be brought out into the light and witnessed by the world, there are other aspects of us, often under the surface, that are allowed to be seen as well. I am a healer, and a witchy, witchy woman. I don’t always present my witch to the world, though most people who know me at all know that she’s always right underneath the surface. The appearance of fox today feels like an assurance. She helps me feel confident in owning the ceremony that is the next several days of my life. I am preparing myself for what is next. There is no need to hide my witch. She knows exactly how to move me forward.
Wow. I just actually sat for a moment with this image and was STRUCK by how brilliantly it portrays my life right now. It is the perfect metaphor for my wedding and the focus I have on the target, just nine days away. I am struck by the meticulous clarity with which he aims and focuses. There is no doubt in his being that he will hit the center of his target with surety and perfection.
He is surrounded by and supported by nature, the robin, dragonfly and the forest. He is harmonious in his forward momentum. Time in its insanely non-linear fashion is playing with me these days– but I have a slow and steady “eye on the prize” mentality that keeps things in perspective and helps me to understand that this final stretch before the wedding will be insanely short and immensely long at the same time. I am exhausted and exuberant, overwhelmed and accomplished.
I am ready and steady and I’ve got my eye on the target nine days from now and I know with certainty there’s no way for me to miss it.
I had completely forgotten that this deck existed until this morning. I found myself in a neglected corner of my house, one that used to be an altar space that is now a dumping ground for randomness, asking myself “what am I looking for?” BOOM these cards called out to me, greeting me like a long-lost friend. I remembered buying them out at one of our favorite bookstores on the coast over a year ago and using them just once to create an altar for our family. I immediately disassembled the altar (an untended altar is no altar at all) and made the deck whole again. I didn’t even check in with my other decks. This was the deck for today’s draw.
Drawing this card, the last one in the deck, feels absolutely perfect. Finding the balance between giving and receiving for me has been a life-long journey. Lately however, it feels like I’ve finally turned a corner with it. I finally have a deep understanding of the necessity of receiving in order to be able to hold the necessary space as a healer, mother, partner and business owner. I resonate so completely with the image of the beautiful woman on this card who is one with the sacred geometry that flows through and around her. She is one with the stardust. There is a flow between herself and all of creation. She is a conduit for flow and movement. She is open and allowing.
Creating a structure for my daily writing practice to exist within has opened me to allowing the flow of my writing. Giving my words voice has allowed them to bubble up and out of me with ease. They are begging to be written and I am acknowledging them and allowing them to move through me. For years my practice was ignoring them. Occasionally I would open a small escape valve, a post here and there, a haiku or poem. But ultimately, my firmly entrenched pattern was one of containing– not allowing.
In the years I spent blocking my writing, I was always very conscious of the fact that I was doing so, but also completely unable to change the practice. I would go through fits and spurts but ultimately there was an intangible fear keeping me from allowing the flow of my words. As I ease ever closer to my wedding day– just two weeks from today, I begin to understand the magnitude of the acknowledgement to the world of my union with my partner. I have known intuitively since I laid eyes on him that we were bound to each other– but there are years that have passed from that moment until now, years of patience and trust. The acknowledgment of our bond to the world allows me to trust myself at the root of my being. It allows me to fully step out from my self-imposed shroud and shine as brilliantly as I possibly can. I can finally say with absolute certainty:
The full moon illuminating Hera is what strikes me first when connecting to this card– as well as all of the peacock eyes that she is robed in. The card gives me a sense of awareness and transparency. There is nothing hidden. Hera is the queen of the Gods and the Goddess of marriage and family. She was a protector of marriage and made herself a symbol for married women. This feels particularly apropos as I am getting married nineteen days from now and the reality of my pending nuptials is really beginning to hit me.
I got married for the first time at the tender age of twenty three. I was bright-eyed, in love and full of fairy tale stories of marriage. My first marriage brought me exactly the lessons I needed and allowed me to begin to acknowledge the tiniest bit of my power. Getting married to my first husband made me feel like an adult. It moved me through a stilted rite of passage and helped me to assume a role that I didn’t know how to assume otherwise. It began as an exercise in innocence and ended as a massive wake up call that struck the root of my being. It also produced two incredible human beings whom I have the privilege of calling my children.
This time around is different. One experience does not even begin to resemble the other, like two different people who coincidentally have the same name. There is no fairy tale. The love I share with my partner is consistent and deeply rooted into a vast foundation that we have built together for years. I am a fully grown woman marrying a fully grown man. Everything is fully illuminated and my eyes are WIDE OPEN. This marriage is an acknowledgement of a deep and abiding bond that exists between myself and my partner. I do not have any illusions about what the future holds for us, and I understand that our bond is powerful and worthy of acknowledgement.
The presence of Hera in today’s draw is comforting. The calm and assurance in her full illumination affirm the brightly lit path along which I find myself travelling.