This card feels like an affirmation of the work I’m doing and the forward trajectory of my path. Though at the moment I feel a bit stuck in the mud and muck– this card assures me that I am on my way. It reminds me to sit with the spaces inside me that feel a little stuck. It assures me that my attention and focus turned toward myself are my most valuable tools.
This card is one of those ALL THE BLESSINGS cards. It symbolizes harmony and abundance with family and relationships. Feels perfectly apropos for the place I currently find myself– in the brilliant, beautiful haze of newly-wedded bliss… HOWEVER, connecting to this card on a purely tarot level does not really acknowledge much that is going on under the surface of our bliss. The symbol of the pelican does however offer the balance that I feel is a more honest portrayal of exactly where I find myself at the moment.
Pelican symbolizes the need to turn inward and take time for self-care. THIS is the place I feel slightly more connected to as I write this post, having spent most of my day laid up in bed having a hard time turning my head. Saturday night was symbolically and in actuality the end of our wedding celebrations. We had a party in Portland for all of the loved ones we were unable to include the previous weekend at the Coast. I drank more than my fair share of libations (as is quite unusual for me)– and had an incredible time dancing and celebrating.
Sunday morning I woke up at 5:45 am unable to go back to sleep and with a sense of dis-ease. I took a hot bath and tried to sleep again– and woke a couple of hours later with a dull, aching pain in my neck. I got up and went into the studio to teach mat class at 9 am, having cancelled my private sessions the night before when I realized that they were an unreasonable ask of myself. After teaching mat class I headed to stock up on Easter basket wares for my mostly grown children and then headed home to assemble Easter baskets.
By the time my husband was home from work in the early afternoon– it was clear I was not in my best form– moving around the house like a stiff mannequin with very few mobile joints. He immediately took me up to the studio and worked on me (one of the many benefits of being married to an LMT)– and then brought me home to rest. Several hours later I realized I would not be helping anyone the next day– other than myself. I cancelled my clients and got my classes covered.
I sought solace in my bed with a movie and a new animal puzzle sticker book that feeds some deeply hidden places in my brain perfectly. (see picture below) I rested and recuperated. I tried as best I could to allow the stress of the last several weeks to melt into my mattress and out of my tired and confused muscles. I turned inward. My breath got deeper, my cells decompressed. My husband joined me. We snuggled into ALL OF THE BLESSINGS that exist between the two of us.
I’m thankful for the insight of my body, seizing to allow me to settle. It knows me pretty well by now– and knows sometimes I’ll push a little when I should maybe just be standing still (or even sitting down). I am surrounded by blessings and full of well-being. I am immeasurably happy and content and overflowing with abundance. And I am grateful for gentle reminders from my body (confirmed by my tarot cards) that despite all of the blessings– I still need to take care of myself. FIRST.