This brilliant lion greeted me for my draw bright and early this morning. As I was falling asleep last night I had the sense that today I would be drawing from this deck. Yesterday I had a session with my healer. Towards the end of my session he acknowledged all of my guides commenting “it’s like a zoo in here.” I had to smile in agreement. My connection with nature is resonant– and nature has been showing up in full force as of late to let me know its got my back.
I have always loved cats. As I began writing this my sweet girl kitty came up and sat down right next to me. A couple of years ago I did a guided journey with my healer and Tiger showed up to be with me and walk alongside me through the journey, at times taking me on her back. She presented herself to me as a powerful ally and thus began what could be called my tiger obsession.
It’s not hard to contextualize what I’m talking about when I refer to my tiger obsession if you’ve walked into my home. From the place where I’m sitting right now in my living room I can see six different tigers without moving a muscle, and I happen to know additionally there’s a tiger as well as a lion on the pillow that the small of my back is resting on. So… yeah, I’ve got a thing for big cats. Jaguars, leopards, and this beautiful powerful sunlit lion whose image sits before me.
Lions symbolize strength, power and courage. They are often associated with the sun. I love the gentle ease of this powerful protector. The presence of lion in my draw today is comforting. He helps keep me feeling grounded and taken care of. My lessons of late are very much centered around claiming and owning my power. Each step I take towards owning that in every situation I have a choice to make, helps me step more solidly into my power. Lion’s presence affirms those clear and conscious forward steps into ownership of my POWERFUL SELF.
I had completely forgotten that this deck existed until this morning. I found myself in a neglected corner of my house, one that used to be an altar space that is now a dumping ground for randomness, asking myself “what am I looking for?” BOOM these cards called out to me, greeting me like a long-lost friend. I remembered buying them out at one of our favorite bookstores on the coast over a year ago and using them just once to create an altar for our family. I immediately disassembled the altar (an untended altar is no altar at all) and made the deck whole again. I didn’t even check in with my other decks. This was the deck for today’s draw.
Drawing this card, the last one in the deck, feels absolutely perfect. Finding the balance between giving and receiving for me has been a life-long journey. Lately however, it feels like I’ve finally turned a corner with it. I finally have a deep understanding of the necessity of receiving in order to be able to hold the necessary space as a healer, mother, partner and business owner. I resonate so completely with the image of the beautiful woman on this card who is one with the sacred geometry that flows through and around her. She is one with the stardust. There is a flow between herself and all of creation. She is a conduit for flow and movement. She is open and allowing.
Creating a structure for my daily writing practice to exist within has opened me to allowing the flow of my writing. Giving my words voice has allowed them to bubble up and out of me with ease. They are begging to be written and I am acknowledging them and allowing them to move through me. For years my practice was ignoring them. Occasionally I would open a small escape valve, a post here and there, a haiku or poem. But ultimately, my firmly entrenched pattern was one of containing– not allowing.
In the years I spent blocking my writing, I was always very conscious of the fact that I was doing so, but also completely unable to change the practice. I would go through fits and spurts but ultimately there was an intangible fear keeping me from allowing the flow of my words. As I ease ever closer to my wedding day– just two weeks from today, I begin to understand the magnitude of the acknowledgement to the world of my union with my partner. I have known intuitively since I laid eyes on him that we were bound to each other– but there are years that have passed from that moment until now, years of patience and trust. The acknowledgment of our bond to the world allows me to trust myself at the root of my being. It allows me to fully step out from my self-imposed shroud and shine as brilliantly as I possibly can. I can finally say with absolute certainty:
Each time I draw a reversed card I feel like I have failed. As I shuffle the cards, I am so in my head about the draw, and whether it’s going to be upright or reversed, that undeniably the universe is giving me exactly what I need: LOTS OF UPSIDE DOWN CARDS. Get over it, Mandy. Move past it. Having a reversed card does not mean that you’ve failed. Turning something on its head is often EXACTLY what we need to do.
The starfish symbolizes renewal and healing. Starfish have the ability to regenerate limbs, as well as willfully detach limbs, to distract or disengage predators. The message of the reversed starfish is about putting yourself first and not ignoring your own happiness. Fair enough. This is one of my things– a lesson that keeps popping up and refuses to leave me alone until I really am prioritizing myself in all aspects of my life.
As I sit with this card I connect into the ease and flow of water. I feel the gentle, lulling rhythm of the ocean, and I hear the words “forgive yourself.” I could plaster those words across my entire life fittingly. There is no aspect of my life in which I couldn’t use just a little bit of forgiveness from myself. The REVERSED (and that’s okay) starfish reminds me to stay present with ALL of myself, to ground myself not just for the sake of others, but for MYSELF, to disengage from the chatter in my brain, and to forgive myself. Because just like everyone else I am far from perfect and I deserve my own forgiveness.